Case Studies

Rita & Mark are a couple in their 60’s who are in good health, and have a strong, loving relationship. After many years together they found that their sex life lacked passion, and they felt as if they were on different wavelengths.

Rita expressed a desire to create a language around sexuality, and to be able to work together with Mark to re-invent their sex life. She would like them to both be satisfied, and not rushed to penetrate and orgasm. For both Rita and Mark there was a desire for more connection and experimentation. It was their time to be a team in the bedroom.

Challenge

Rita needed support in communicating her wants and needs to Mark. She wanted intimacy and connection, alongside the confidence to ask for different positions outside of their ‘routine’. She wanted to desire sexual experiences, and to be on the same page.

Approach / Strategy / Therapy

After meeting Rita and taking a full medical, psychological and relationship overview, Chantelle formed a plan for short-term goals. It was important to involve Mark in these sessions and to establish rapport so that everyone could work together as a team.

Both Rita and Mark are delightful and were given a re-education of what sexuality can be; about the journey of sex, not the destination of penetration and orgasm. As a team, the couple learnt about the difference between male and female sexual responses, and there was a discussion about the psychosocial aspects of sexuality.

Sex is not simply about the biological drives and different positions, but how your partner makes you feel in the bedroom and the communication around sex.

They were given ‘sensate focus’ exercises, which teaches couples to strip back sexuality to the basics of non-genital touching and fondling, introducing more sexual activity in stages that are aimed at increasing personal and interpersonal awareness of needs. Intentional focus is given to touch, without expectation of intercourse, judgment or pressure. Sensate focus takes away negative associations with sex and focuses on the journey of sexuality, rather than the destination of penetration and orgasm.

Solution / Results

Rita & Mark’s sex life turned around, and fast! After their first couple’s session, the duo came back with big smiles on their faces and a newfound communication around sexuality. The strong body within the relationship allowed the couple to openly communicate about sex  and explore sexuality that’s more sensual and more playful than that of earlier years. Their new sex life was about knowing how to take pleasure as it comes, rather than focussing on what could be – this is what characterises a less impulsive, but more erotic, satisfying sexuality.

Testimonial:

Rita –

Sometimes it is very difficult to talk about sex as an older couple. I had decided that I needed to have greater intimacy in our relationship with my husband. I studied the internet for a specialist to encourage and support our growth and Chantelle description and studies impressed me to an enquiry.

On my first visit, I was encouraged by Chantelle’s approach and calm gentle manner. She is an empathetic listener and fully engaged in helping us understand our different needs and provided us with specific tasks and handouts.

My husband and I meet with Chantelle separately to be able to speak freely about what we wanted to form these conversations and information sharing. No question was ignored nor dismissed. Our intimate lives were treated with care and respect. We are very grateful for Chantelle’s support and encouragement in our quest for deeper meaning in our lives. I wholly endorse Chantelle and the professional manner she conducts her services.

Mark –

Since coming to see Chantelle my wife and I have completely
re-evaluated our view on our Sex life and our love life! You have enabled both of us to openly discuss our deepest emotions, this came about due to your caring and honest approach to our individual needs.

Without your caring and honest approach, I do not think my wife and I would be as happy in our sex life as we are today. I know both of us endorse Chantelle and the professional manner in which she looked after our needs individually and jointly. I have the utmost pleasure in recommending Chantelle.